Overanalysing

In the previous post about dysphoria, I explained the difference between body and social dysphoria, and also showed dysphoria can manifest in many different ways, depending on the situation.
However, also when dysphoria isn't directly triggered it is almost always there, but in a more... subtle form.
Basically I become overanalytical or paranoid about everything. From handwriting to mannerisms to appearance, I constantly think:

1. Do I pass/Do others see me as male/Do I look male
2. Am I "male enough" (on the inside)

The first point basically refers to anything social and physical. When I am out on the street and my eyes meet those of strangers, I try to figure out whether they see a dude or a gal walking by. And even when no-one is looking I am checking things, like "Does my butt look too big for a dude in these pants?" "Is it visible I don't have a package?" "Do I need to cut my hair?" "Do I look like a lesbian?" "Do I have too less hair on my arms?" "Do I look wimpy?" and so forth.
Basically every imaginable thing that has to do with appearance. This also includes things like mannerisms, like walking, sitting, choice of language...(though mannerisms are tricky, as they also fall a bit into point 2, but also not, as mannerisms are majorily taught, and not inborn)

The other point is something which manifests itself most when I am on my own and the need to 'pass' is less present than in public. (though still there. Some transpeople deliberately avoid mirrors, I actually constantly check myself in the mirror and try to look "through the eyes of a stranger" and decipher whether they would see a male or female. Often it doesn't leave me feeling better)
Because I am not born male, I have the feeling as if I have to "prove" to both myself and the outside world that I am "male enough" or "truly a dude" on the inside. This has nothing to do with looks, rather it has to do with the workings of my brain.
I tend to get over-analytical of everything I like (such as hobbies and interests), and how I "think" and do certain things. "Is that what a cisdude would do?"
It goes so far that I even attach a lot of value to the way my room or handwriting looks, and even try to analyse my way of thinking and looking at things, and figure out whether that is a "typical male" line of thought. Crazy, eh?

This is my handwriting (this sentence containts all letters from the alphabet), what do you think? Male? Female? Andro?

In fact, this promotes a lot of stereotypic thinking within me, like "men are this, women are that", and I KNOW that is total bullcrap, so I try not to change myself when I find a "female" trait.
There is no use in all of this if one mask ends up replacing the other. I am simply not a very dominant "Alpha Male", and if I'd try to become that, I'd end up being very unhappy.
A lot of gay men actually have a typical "female thought pattern", but yet they don't feel like women, so I figure... all of that actually says nothing at all.
My gender identity, my deep rooted feeling about what I am, clearly says male. And I should just leave it at that and stop the analysing, stop the taking myself down on my "feminine" and "tender" traits.
That, however, is easier said than done, and I cannot "shut off" those feelings. BUT I have sworn to myself not to change who I am just for the sake of being a "normal dude" (besides that... me and normal? Not gonna happen!), because transition is about becoming who you are. It completely defeats the purpose if I am going to play a role once again.

No more roles for me, unless it's in a play.

(EDIT: I changed the title from "dysphoric paranoia" to "overanalysing", because I felt the word "paranoia" was kinda... too heavy)